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halfabed

by clem turner

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about

for context, in 2020 i made a bunch of fake bands with the help of 20 glorious youtube producers. a long, long time ago, someone on tumblr asked me nicely to put them all here, and a long, long time ago, i said "OF COURSE I WILL" and then forgot. i'm starting to do so now.

this is for that person, who sent a message like 10 minutes ago and said this is the one they wanted. i love you, and i thank you. i decided that this would be a good song for a fake band called "knee raft" because that felt like a PC folk version of crywank.

this is a song about a lonely werewolf. it was mid-march 2020 and i was quarantined in my house when i put this on youtube, and i laugh every time i hear it because that was the winter that my house security alarm was going haywire so you can hear it constantly beeping. it used to bother me but now it just makes me miss that old house. and that old security alarm.

lyrics

i couldn't tell you what
i plan to do.
i always get lost in
headlights behind me.
what is the point if
i'm begging to stay?
when i begged yesterday.

and it is a dog i've trapped here
beside me.
companionship forged in
panels of glass.
i am a savior but also
a villain.
trying to organize
who i'll save last.

but when the time comes
and i clock myself
and i crawl out of my skin -
and when the worst life
i wrote becomes my own -
and when my hands start
to curl and sharpen
and i'm not thinking clear -
i will remember this
i will remember

i've been making half a bed
i've been making half a bed

i'm not the person i paint
in my head.
i've come to terms with it
nearly, i'd like to
i filled myself up to the brim
with its help
i'm spilling, splitting in two

and when the night crashes
down into my haven
built for one -
and when the tallies i created
turn to dust -
and when my eyes close
my heartbeat dies
and i can't feel a thing -
i will remember this
i will remember

i've been making half a bed
i've been making half a bed

i sing a song to you
with lyrics i can't even pronounce
with lyrics that predate words
the melody won't come out.

but when the time comes
and i clock myself
and i crawl out of my skin -
and when the worst life
i wrote becomes my own -
and when my hands start
to curl and sharpen
and i'm not thinking clear -
i will remember this
i will remember

i've been making half a bed

credits

released January 17, 2024
a gracious thanks to seb lennon, or @ha1rdye on youtube. a wonderful musical mind and producer who commented a prayer hands on the video when it went out

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about

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clem turner Asheville, North Carolina

Clem Turner is a cloud enthusiast based in Asheville, NC. He is figuring things out. He makes noise and thinks that words are neat.

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